When I first met my current boyfriend, I knew he was untrustworthy. We met at a party he attended with his girlfriend and he hit on me. When I went to the toilet, he followed and virtually armtwisted me into having a quickie with him. We then started seeing each other on and off. He is a charming rogue and sex with him is addictive.
At first, it was a bit of fun. After close to a year, I still feel fantastic when we’re together, but I am unsure about us when we’re apart. I know the affair is becoming unhealthy for me but I can’t bear to end it. And because I’m always at his beck and call, I know he never will. Help!
You are at the mercy of the age old conflict of head and heart. Your head must be winning for you to realize there is no future or long-term happiness with this adventurer. But how do you get him out of your life? The less you see of him, the easier it will be. He’s an addiction, so getting rid of him will be painful in spite of the fact you know he’s not good for you.
You could try what experts recommend as aversion therapy. Such men are free with their affections. Consider the huge infection risk you run. How many girls has he had this month? Ten, twenty, 100? Think of all the things about him that turn you on, and imagine those things being switched on for every girl he meets.
Put one of your low moods to good use. Scrub his name out of your diary and delete details about him from your mobile. Avoid places where you will meet, and don’t answer the phone if you know it’s him. Find something to replace him, a new pastime to give your confidence a boost. And if you do run into him, remain cool and impervious to his charms. Sooner or later, you’ll meet someone else you’ll be comfortable with.