Sure you’re handling dirty diapers by the pail-load and have breast milk stains on your shirt. But, whether or not you believe it, you’re actually hotter than ever.
1. You’ve realized you’re powerful
“Feeling sexy is about power,” says J. Maria Bermudez, PhD, a family therapist and associate professor at The University of Georgia. People in power tend to have infectious, wildly appealing charisma. And don’t you feel strong just having gone through the birth process? Heck, you created a whole (pretty amazing) human. If you can do that, you can do almost anything.
2. You’re in charge
Ever heard of mama-bear syndrome? Having a defenseless little baby you’re responsible for can make you more assertive and confident. “Motherhood tends to make women less fearful and more open to all sorts of things,” says Danielle Cavallucci, coauthor of Your Orgasmic Pregnancy. You’re not shy about speaking up when the doctor’s office wait is too long, or saying “hands off” when a stranger tries to touch baby in the supermarket. Can we all agree that confidence makes someone more alluring? And there’s really no reason to be shy in the bedroom either.
3. Breastfeeding = nature’s boob job
For as long as you’re breastfeeding, your normally B cups may be well in D-cup territory, and anything fitted with a V-neck looks ah-mazing. Being big busted feels healthy, takes the focus off any baby weight you still want to lose and makes you feel hot in your favorite slinky slip. Not to mention the fact that your partner can’t take his eyes off your new, more voluptuous figure.
4. You’re in touch with your body
“Something about letting go of the muscles surrounding a woman’s vaginal floor during childbirth allows a greater release of what is, for some, a pent-up area of their sexuality,” Cavallucci says. Translation: You may feel like you’re better at working things, um, down there.
5. You’re less self-conscious
When you give birth, you pretty much have to leave all your humility at the door. You were practically naked (or maybe completely naked) in front of virtual strangers in the delivery room. Why have any inhibitions about your body now?
6. The big “o” gets better
Heard rumors of a horrible sex life after baby? That’s not always true. While science hasn’t proven it, Cavallucci says many women she’s interviewed have better, more intense orgasms during pregnancy, and that translates to great postbaby ones too. “Anything that opens you up to a more full sexual expression is going to increase your capacity for sensory pleasure,” she says.
7. You feel closer to your partner
“Sometimes becoming a mother can reinvigorate a woman’s sex life by adding dimension and depth to her relationship with herself as well as her partner,” Cavallucci says. You two got through the terrifying, beautiful, emotionally draining birth together, and now that you’ve made the big leap into parent status, you’re working as a team in ways you never did before. This new bond rejuvenates your relationship and can inspire that can’t-keep-your-hands-off-each-other feeling.